As your kids get older folks will tell you how much easier things get. There are less tantrums and physical demands than a toddler, or a new born. But what no one tells you is that life is just never easy with kids. Life will throw you curve balls and you may find your kids still tantruming at age 5 and you’re making calls to various doctors for answers. You might find yourself in the principals office for the very first time because your Kindergartner kicked over a chair at school. And even though you were never once in trouble ever in school, you’ll suddenly sweat bullets like you are the kid in the hot seat. Nothing is easy as a parent. There are just no simple hacks for getting through the day with a houseful of people people making demands of your time. In my world, it seems I have very little time to myself to enjoy anything. It can take grand efforts and tremendous planning just to get a little time alone to myself.
Fun fact, I started typing this blog at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Usually I like to write days, or weeks in advance, but life has been hectic. We have had appointments and started traveling for swim lessons. I am not a morning person AT ALL but 6:00 a.m. tends to be the only time of day I am not being asked 20 questions about why the dinosaurs “went extinct?” or “how many miles is it to the moon?” Those early morning hours are all mine to think groggy thoughts and count down to that first sip of coffee salvation. Then the day just spirals into chaotic motion from there. It could be hours, or days before I get back in front of my computer to type up a blog post for ya’ll. It is now 7:00 p.m. and I am praying I get this done before the kids bed time so I can veg out in front of the T.V. later.
So are you wondering how an over worked mom with zero extra hands finds a little “me time?” Well, first I am learning to drop the expectations for a perfect amount of time, or the perfect set up for relaxation. Instead of putting parameters on what is the perfect way to spend my time, I am learning to take what I can get whenever I can get it. Besides early mornings, I often steal away while the kids are playing to read an article on Facebook, or to read a few pages of a good book, or phone a friend. It’s nothing special, or huge, but it’s just a few minutes to plug into something else and I am learning to let that be enough.
The other evening I noticed my kindness wearing thin, so I told my husband I was going for a drive. What I really wanted was to run away to Mexico, change my name to Rosita and live on the beach. Instead I drove to the local gas station and filled up my gas tank. After that I had no idea what was next. Five minutes later, I found myself driving as far away from my home as I could get. I took very scenic twists and turns over the mountains. I turned up the music, opened the windows and let the wind mess up my hair. As I drove toward the sunset at 60 miles per hour I saw a rainbow up ahead. I took a deep breath and soaked in the final minutes of the sunset. I spent the next thirty minutes belting out a tune at the top of my lungs, then I decided to head back home. After an hour of doing just nothing productive I felt recharged. It was exactly what I needed to “get away” from the stress of being a mom that day.
Although my me time used to look like an hour long yoga class and shopping with friends, I find simple, small ways to just be alone invigorating now. These stolen moments driving fast and alone is what helped me unplug for a moment before heading back home. I’ve noticed when I unplug from the stress, everyone else in my family unplugs too. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
How do you find stolen moments of me time?
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia