I’ll Never Forget September 11, 2001

categories: Uncategorized

On this day fifteen years ago I remember how blue the sky was. I was driving to work with my boyfriend Keith (now husband) and I remember looking out the window thinking, “Never in my life have I ever seen a sky so crisp and clear.” I noticed the jeweled tones of autumn sprouting among the sea of green trees and it took my breath away. The morning of Tuesday September 11, 2001 was the most beautiful morning I can remember.

I remember our car passing under the canopy of trees and the sky moving from my view. The details of the last few minutes of our commute escape me. I assume Keith and I began discussing our plans for the day as we waited in line for our turn to make the left toward my office. As he did every day for the last year he delivered me safely at the door and continued the rest of his commute.

The work day began with the usual chit chat about how we spent our evening, and how we will have to spend another gorgeous day inside the office. I barely had enough time to power up my computer before the phone rang. It was Keith.

“You’re not going to believe this but a plane just flew into the World Trade Center! We’re under terrorist attack!” I could feel the panic in his words.

“What? How did you hear this? Where are you?”

“I am driving to work and I heard it over the radio on the morning show.”

“Are you sure? Those guys are notorious for pulling off some tasteless pranks.”

“No. These guys cut through the song and sounded scared.”

There wasn’t a clock tick between the end of his sentence and my co-worker shouting, “Oh my God!! We’re under terrorist attack! The World Trade Center just got hit!” Her husband, a NYC cop on duty at the time, called with the news and assured her he would be OK.

It wasn’t long after that, that our Internet went down and our land lines were a constant busy signal and the cell coverage was sparse. Everyone became frantic to connect with their loved ones working in the city that day. Someone noticed AOL messenger was still working. We were frantically sending Instant Messages to everyone we could think of near the Trade Center.

“Where are they?”

“I can’t remember if this is their day off.”

“Oh my God my uncle works on Wall Street!”

For the next several hours we remained in our offices desperate for info, desperate to know our loved ones and our co-workers in the industry were safe. I was living hundreds of miles away from my own family and I wanted them to know I was OK, but I would not get to talk to them until hours after I returned to my small apartment where I waited for Keith to make the long, chaotic commute back home.

It was 3:00 p.m. before I finally found myself in front of the television and saw for the first time the horrific explosions. The fireballs billowing out of control before the first tower toppled like paper dominoes. I was frozen. I didn’t even know which emotion I should feel first. I was grateful I was safe. I was grateful all of my future in-laws were accounted for, but I was scared. I was horrified. For the first time in my life I felt gutted. I fell limp against my couch and I just sobbed.

The next few days were difficult to get communications out to family, but as soon as I connected with my mother it became her job to spread the word that I was OK. I was only 38 miles away from ground zero and I was safe. But there was no going home as travel on and off the Island was prohibited. I was so thankful that all of my local friends and co-workers and Keith’s family were all OK, I never gave it a thought I might still know someone personally who was lost in the devastation.

“I heard Michelle and Jennifer were working down there in the towers. Everyone is saying the twins were working in the twin towers,” my sister said.

“No, I just saw Jennifer a few months ago when I was home and I remember she said they both just moved back from Manhattan. I think they are OK.” I replied. But my sister was sure she heard they were both there. News, and gossip, travels fast in my small hometown. I immediately sent off an email to my friend Amy who is Michelle’s best friend.

“Yes, Michelle was working there that day. Her family is in NYC right now searching for her.”

Even though the words were right there in front of me and from a pure source, I couldn’t believe them. She wrote, searching for her. I couldn’t begin to let my mind think about what that might even mean.

I don’t know how long the search went on for Michelle. I don’t remember when they declared she was among the missing. I kept holding onto hope that she had amnesia and was just sitting in a hospital somewhere waiting for her family to find her. But they never did.

Michelle and I grew up together in the same small town and saw each other mostly at school. We didn’t spend the night at each other’s houses, or spend much time together outside of school. Nonetheless she was a constant player in my childhood. We lived through embarrassing fashion trends and cheered each other on in gym class. We shared homeroom and friends and made fun of our teachers together. When we graduated in 1993 we shared our freshman year of college at the same school.

“My roommate is pissed because I got pen on her new comforter,” Michelle quipped with a laugh.
“I don’t really care; there are bigger things to worry about.”

“Michelle what is that thing in your closet?” I asked. “Oh that’s a hookah,” she said with her casual matter of fact tone. I was too embarrassed to even ask her what a hookah was. So I just nodded like I knew.

I transferred to another college at the end of my freshman year. I didn’t see her much after that, unless we ran into each other at the grocery store during one of my visits home. Even then it was just a quick, “Hey girl!! How are you?”

In 1997 Michelle and I were bridesmaids in our friend Amy’s wedding. Amy and Michelle were super close in high school and even shared an apartment for a time after graduation. They knew everything about each other. In a small town where everyone knows your business Amy became synonymous with Michelle. It was expected Michelle would be her maid of honor.

Michelle and I were part of the biggest bridal party I have ever seen. The day of the wedding there were eleven girls dressed in matching burgundy, hand sewn dresses running in all different directions. Michelle somehow got us all in line and gave us our cues and wished each of us luck before we made our way down the aisle. I remember feeling so nervous that I thought my legs were going to melt into the carpet when I tried to walk. I walked as slowly as I could and took my place in the front of the church. Michelle was the last one in line, just before the bride. As she took her turn down the aisle and made her way toward us, she looked each one of us in the eye and smiled. We couldn’t help but smile back. It was like she was sending each of us a tiny beam of her confidence.

“My absolute favorite part was when I looked down the line at each of you and every one of you smiled back at me. It was just awesome,” Michelle told us at the reception. Her face widened with a warm smile.

We danced the rest of the night. We drank and got silly. We watched our friend Amy throw her bouquet and her new husband toss the garter. We commented on how great the cake was and how beautiful everything turned out and how Amy and her mother are so amazingly crafty. It is the last time I remember seeing Michelle. After that night, our lives went in separate ways again.

I always remember her as lighthearted and always kind. In the weeks following the discovery that Michelle was gone forever it felt surreal. How would I never again run into her on the street? I thought of her family day and night. I thought about her twin sister. And I realized I could never let another day go by and not say I love you to anyone. I could never go another day without giving kindness away, or giving a smile to someone who just needed a little steadiness in their day. I could never take simple moments and coincidences for granted again.

To this day I still see Michelle laughing, smiling and upbeat. I am so grateful for the moments our lives intermingled. I am so grateful that I got to witness her spirit. Michelle has a twin sister, Jennifer. I grew up alongside them. Now I have twin daughters. I sometimes wonder what my conversation with Michelle would have been like when I ran into her on a trip back home. I would tell her,

“Can you believe it? I’m a twin mom now- two beautiful girls!” I’d say with joy.

“Make sure you let them know girls can do anything boys can do! And don’t be afraid to let them get dirty!” she would say while laughing.

I’d laugh too and get lost in the warmth of her smile. Then we might catch up a bit on how life has been since we are older and wiser and we understand the value in taking the time to connect. I imagine we’d end our conversation with a hug and say, “See you on Facebook!” before parting ways again.

Instead, I’ve spent the last fifteen years sharing her photo and looking toward the heavens and thinking, “the sky has never seemed as crisp as it did on September 11, 2001.”

Michelle Reed

The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia and The Novice Mommy.

31
Aug
2016

Why Going Bald Matters in My Family

categories: health, Parent, Parenting, Uncategorized

It was just after Christmas of 2002 that we discovered my niece was very ill. Her parents thought it was just a stomach bug that kept her couched for a week. But when Ashley appeared gray and limp and refusing to eat her chocolate treats that Santa left her, we knew something was wrong. After taking her to the emergency room my brother and his wife were told Ashley has Leukemia. She was immediately taken to a medical center for treatment.

Ashley was only three years old, but she lived several months of her life in the hospital. She endured three surgeries and still wears the scars along her abdomen. The first surgery, which nearly every kid with cancer endures, implanted a Picc IV line that administers chemotherapy directly to her heart. We thought that would be the worst. The second surgery was to remove her appendix as it became inflamed from the amount of chemicals coursing through her body. The third and last was the most invasive and the most difficult to watch her heal from. She was surgically cut straight down the middle of her abdomen so doctors could open her up to repair a hole that had worn through her colon- a side effect of the chemo. The medical center treating Ashley is also a teaching hospital which means the surgical area has a viewing bay. My brother stood over his baby girl, helplessly watching afar as doctors work to repair her from the inside. Did I mention she was only a toddler?

I get this is totally graphic. I get that some of you may stop reading right here. Please don’t. On the eve of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, it is important for you to know the truth of what life looks like for kids with cancer. From newborns to teenagers a child is diagnosed with Cancer every two minutes. Every single one of them will have a different experience. Maybe they won’t need extra surgeries, or need to learn how to walk again, or fall behind their classmates at school. Maybe their journey will be easier, or maybe it will be worse. The one thing they will all have in common is that the powerful chemo killing their cancer will also cause them to lose their hair.

Before we even knew about St. Baldrick’s my brother decided to shave his head when Ashley lost all of her hair. It was an act of loving solidarity. She wouldn’t have to be the only one bald, they could be bald together. Today, my family fully supports the brave ones who shave their heads to raise money, awareness and support for kids with cancer.

The U.S. government designates less than 4% of funds toward researching a cure for childhood cancer. And pharmaceutical companies designate even less, because childhood cancer drugs are not profitable. As a result seven children a day die from cancer. It happens every single day you wake up. St. Baldrick’s is one of the few Pediatric Cancer fundraising organizations where proceeds are streamlined directly to research teams. They raise millions of dollars each year to help find a cure for pediatric cancer, and less invasive treatment options.

How do they raise millions? Their unique platform is simply signing people up to “Brave the Shave.” People create a team, and ask donors to sponsor them at a head shaving event. They show up in firehouses, gymnasiums, rec centers, schools and VFW halls across the country to brave the shave together with other shavees. It takes a lot of courage to choose to lose your hair. Kids with cancer don’t get a choice.

How do they spend those millions? St. Baldrick’s provides grants to fund every stage of research, from ideas in the lab, to clinical trials to fellowships. Eighty percent of children treated for cancer stand a greater chance of side effects that follow them for life. While much of the research is focused on a cure, it is also focused on preventing lifelong damage caused by chemotherapy, surgeries and radiation. Through collaborative efforts, St. Baldrick’s supports the next generation of oncologists, helps children not just survive, but thrive; and funds necessary research.

How can you help? Find a local event near you. Just go and be inspired. If you are not ready to brave the shave donate to someone who is. Create a shave event in your hometown, volunteer your time and talents as a barber, or just help spread the word. St. Baldrick’s makes it super easy to get started and provides you with all the marketing an organizational materials needed for success.

Why is St. Baldrick’s so important to my family? Because in the 1950’s every child diagnosed with cancer died. Today 90% of children diagnosed with the most common cancers, like Ashley’s Leukemia, will survive. St. Baldrick’s is leading the way in researching cures for childhood cancer. In 2016, St. Baldrick’s funded research that developed the third (in existence) FDA approved drug treatment for pediatric cancer. It is the first drug treatment breakthrough in twenty years and it will help treat children with high-risk neuroblastoma. Every time someone donates a dollar to St. Baldrick’s, or braves the shave in support, we are confident the money is being spent wisely and with finding a cure is at the forefront.

My niece Ashley is now a 14 year cancer survivor. She has worked hard to overcome the lingering effects of her cancer treatments. Most impressively, she has raised thousands of dollars in her young life to provide comfort and care, and to fund a cure for other kids living with cancer. In March 2016, Ashley braved the shave herself, just before her prom and graduation. She willingly gave up what most girls struggle to, her golden curly locks of hair. Her boyfriend, friends and family shaved right alongside of her in solidarity and together contributed over $2,000 to pediatric cancer research.

St. Baldrick’s will forever be a part of our lives. We believe in giving other cancer kids a fighting chance and a chance to survive.

This is not a sponsored post and no financial compensation was received. I wholeheartedly believe in the mission of the St. Baldrick’s Foundation and would love for you to share this post with as many friends and family as you can! Use #gogold to help kick off Childhood Cancer Awareness month and spread awareness about Childhood Cancer.

26
Aug
2016

Friday Favorites – Basic Invite

categories: Friday Favorites, Holiday Fun, Home Organizing, Uncategorized

If you are like me you spend a lot of time designing just the right holiday card, birth announcement, or thank you card in your head only to find most sites don’t have what you are looking for. When the folks at Basic Invite offered me a select number of custom cards it was hard to choose exactly which card to design. I no longer need baby shower invites, or to send out personalized birth announcements. Those years are behind me now, but I know there are so many of you who need a great design site to find just the perfect stationary for those exact occasions. That’s why I am so excited to share this find with you!

I thought about what I should create since I am not getting married and we aren’t having a birthday party for the girls this year. (Don’t worry we are doing something special, just not a party). I wasn’t sure what kind of stationary I really need. I thought about designing my Christmas cards, but I’m not ready to unveil those to anyone just yet. Those are top secret until they show up in mail boxes! So I designed some thank you cards to match The Whatever Mom web site. These will be great to include when shipping prizes, or thanking partners.

I have not yet found, or used, a site with so many options to personalize my design. After I select my card design I perused the gallery of over 160 different color options. I also have the option to change up the textures and patterns. For example, I start with a a polka dot background and a peacock in front. I have fun changing up the colors of the feathers, the polka dots and the background. Having the ability to change all of these essential elements makes it easy to match a party theme, baby nursery or wedding colors. Basic Invite offers truly customizable cards for every life event, from weddings to birth announcements to bah mitzvahs and graduations.

It is so hard to choose a final design because I love every thing. I love the instant preview option so I can see my changes within seconds. I am so excited that Basic Invite is one of the few companies that offers free samples of actual invite/card choices. Having a physical sample in hand before ordering hundreds of wedding invites saves so much worry! This way you can see the texture and the colors before placing your final order.

Even the envelop is customizable. You can choose from 40 different color options and include an address. The envelops come free with most orders and include a peal and seal closure. There’s no licking! This will be a huge time saver when sending out Holiday cards!

The most difficult part of the design process is selecting just one option. I narrow down my final choice from over 22 pages of card designs. I enjoy the list of recommended matching items and related items. This way I won’t forget to include special inserts and I can see what other stationary will look like with my design.

Once I select the card I like best and change the colors from what is pictured to what I want the rest is easy. I see my design choices in the instant preview, and once I select the envelop color it is available for side by side preview.

The check out process is very simple. I was a little distracted by the fun of creating my design that I did not realize I forgot to create an account. I confess I have done this on other sites too. I typically lose my fun little design and have to start over again. This time my choices are saved and waiting for me after I create my account. It may sound like a small thing, but as a busy mom doing a few too many things at once, it is such a convenience to not have to start a project all over again.

During the check out, I agree to the final edits and that all the information is correct. I can do this for free or assign the task to the design team at Basic Invite for just $10. You probably won’t select this option on just a handful of thank you cards, or announcements. But if you are ordering over 100 wedding invites this is an important service to have available.

Overall I am really impressed by Basic Invite’s services. The website is user friendly, the design process is easy and fun, the paper quality is excellent and the customer service post order is spectacular. I received prompt emails asking if I am satisfied with my products. I highly recommend Basic Invite to design your next round of one of a kind cards!

Financial compensation was given in exchange for honest review of Basic Invite online design service. All opinions belong solely to The Whatever Mom. No affiliate links are included in this post. I only review products and services that readers can truly use and feel good about using.

24
Aug
2016

I Surrender the War on Meal Time

categories: Mommy Wars, Parent, Parenting, Snack Prep, Time savers, Uncategorized

I was struggling with what to share today when the topic just naturally appeared to me in the form of a cheese quesadilla. I know I’ve shared a lot about the insanity of having two picky eaters. But none of my words can articulate the drama that comes along with our meal times. One has to experience the hour-long fits of rage from my children to get the full effect of the mealtime madness at my house.

This picky “phase” began just before age three (my kids are almost six). It isn’t just the food choices they complain about, they also complain about the size and the shape of their food. They let me know their disdain for the color plate touching their food, or which side of the table they are served on. I simply cannot win.

I have done everything you are not supposed to do, and I’ve done everything by the book. I have consulted our doctor, and more than one Registered Dietitian. I have spent many mornings adding organic fresh berries and fruits to a smoothie just for one sip to send my kid into hysterics. They help me cook meals and snacks in the kitchen all the time and they still won’t eat any of it. I have tried everything to end the pickiness. Given all my hard work it stings when people make comments about my kids food choices, or posts those #proudmom moments on Facebook because their kid ate a new vegetable. My kids ate all of their organic veggies once too.

So what about the quesadilla? Well, last night I was pretty proud of myself for making enchiladas. I had no idea how easy these are to make. Thinking ahead I knew my kids would not even consider a bite of an enchilada, so I gave into making cheese quesadillas. If you have never had a cheese quesadilla, it is simply shredded cheese sandwiched between two tortillas and heated up to create a melty, gooey cheesy sensation. You can add things like chicken or veggies, but not in my house. My children are purists when it comes to their cheese quesadillas.

I call the kids to the table expecting them to recognize one of their favorite foods and begin eating without complaint. Instead: (actual conversation in the Whatever household):

Child: “I can’t eat that.”

Me: “What do you mean you can’t eat that? You asked me to make it for you.”

Child: “I don’t eat round foods.”

Me: “You don’t eat round foods?”

Child: “No.”

Me: “Since when?” (Knowing she has eaten plain cheese quesadillas most of her life).

Child: “Since right now.”

Me: “So, mommy just made you a cheese quesadilla that you asked for and now you won’t eat it it because it is round?”

Child: “Yes. I can only eat triangles.”

Me: {blink} {blink} {blink} Stare. “Are you asking me to cut this into triangles?”

Child: “Yes. But only if they are small triangles.”

I CAN’T WIN.

Now this is the point where other parents suggest I not give into the demands, she either eats or she doesn’t. But other parents do not live my struggle. I could refuse to cut the triangles and spend the next 30-60 minutes listening to my kid scream about how awful her life is, or I can just give her triangles and move on peacefully. I can’t count of the number of meals I miss because I spend so much time disciplining my kids through theirs. It is a complicated tango we dance at least three times a day, every day.

My daughter accepts the quesadilla in triangles. Then opens each triangle and peels out the cheese. I leave the table to wash the dishes already resenting the bedtime snack she is going to beg me for later. I feel like I have tragically failed this part of parenting. Then I realize I need to dig deep and listen to my own advice, “Do whatever it takes to make it through this, Rox. You have fought a good long fight. You have hung in there longer than most folks would. You still feed them the good stuff and allow just the right amount of treats. You have remained faithful in your belief in good food. So what’s going to work to make your meal times less stressful?”

LET THEM WIN.

After nearly 4 years of battling against two strong wills, arguing, threatening, bargaining, yelling and digging my heals in, I give up. I GIVE UP! I raise the white flag and concede the war. I am no longer going to spend extra time in the kitchen crafting meals with hidden veggies, just for them to be rejected over and over. I am no longer going to worry about buying up the organic chicken nuggets when my kids won’t even come to the table if those are on the plate. I am no longer going to recreate healthier versions of Alfredo sauce just for my kid to splatter across my kitchen cupboards.

My kids are healthy and they are strong. So I will let them eat fish sticks and chicken nuggets every single night. I will let them eat their cheesy topped cheese with a side of cheese. I will let them have a small bedtime snack even when they ~~skip~~ refuse dinner. Most of all, I won’t let it bother me anymore when people say things like, “I would never let my kid get away with that.” OR “I guess I’m lucky my kids just eat everything.” OR “I better train my kids now so they don’t act like that later.” From now on, I will accept that this is what our “whatever” looks like. And this is what works for me. #proudmom

19
Aug
2016

Friday Favorites: Three Sisters Herbals

categories: Friday Favorites, health, Healthy Moms, Parent, Uncategorized

This week I am introducing you all to one of my family’s favorites, Three Sisters Herbals. These handcrafted organic products are made right here in the USA (Hyde Park, NY), are eco-friendly and can be customized to accommodate particular sensitivities. There are vegan and animal friendly products too. Yep, you can even use most of these products on the family pet. High quality organic products, handcrafted in small batches, at an affordable price is the trifecta of sustainability.

Kim Mule created Three Sisters Herbals salves and tinctures for family use and with family budgets in mind. Many of her products are multi-use and can easily extend to the family pet. Talk about economical! It all began with a DIY salve kit and Kim’s passions were lit. After the birth of her third child she knew her next “baby” would arrive at the birth of her business. Kim combines her passions for herbal remedies and a natural lifestyle with her degree in Graphic Design to make life as a mom work for her. She works from her home studio so she can be available when her kids get off the bus. And, she provides great products that work for other families.

Here are my family’s personal favorites:

You can never ever, ever have too much Magic Salve! In fact, here are 25 different ways to use it! We have used it for diaper rash treatment, and to prevent diaper rash when our girls were babies. Now we use it for cuts, scrapes and minor burns. Use this to treat under eye puffiness and you might agree that there is literally magic in this container! You can even use it on dry cracked lips. If you happen to be a pet owner you can apply this to your furry loves little feet too! The salve moisturizes, heals and soothes skin without chemicals, perfumes or petroleum. It is also handcrafted with organic herbs and safe to use on all skin types. Through the month of August get an extra 20% off with the Magic Salve stock up sale!

Kim gave me a bottle of Hand Sanitizer to sample for this review. It is crafted with a natural base of Aloe Vera Gel, and the Four Thieves blend has been proven to ward off germs, flues and viruses. I have tried mixing my own hand sanitizer and it doesn’t feel like enough. This non-sticky formula isn’t overpowering to the senses and you only need a few drops. I carry this in our car to apply to our hands after a day at the park, the library, a trip to the store or other places kids climb all over and sneeze on. This is my new favorite!

Bug Away is an absolute summer must have. Actually we use it spring through fall to ward off the ticks. We live in an area overrun with ticks and Lyme disease. We recently had a couple of tick invasions in our own yard. This natural hand crafted organic blend of essential oils is effective on ticks, mosquitoes and flies. It is safe enough to use on babies, children and even dogs and farm animals. I like that it is Deet free and it is does not irritate my kids skin. We spray directly on our skin and clothes when we are playing in the yard or at the park; and on our back packs and shoes before going on a hike. This is also available in a lotion stick which is great to use on toddlers.

I love Kim’s mission to provide healthy, family safe products, and I also love the meaning behind the name. Kim chose the name Three Sisters Herbal in honor of the bond her mother had with her two sisters. It represents the power to uplift through love and respect. As a mom advocating for love and respect among the mom community, this philosophy epitomizes my own mission. Three Sisters Herbals products are healthy and effective too, which seems like a perfect fit for my family.

Stop by threesistersherbals.com to order, or check out the other products Kim offers. You can also find Three Sisters on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

No financial compensation was received for this review. Promotional products provided by Three Sisters Herbals for testing in exchange for review. All opinions are genuine and solely belong to The Whatever Mom.

17
Aug
2016

Back to School Prep: Homeschool vs. Traditional School

categories: Home Organizing, Organizing, Parent, Parenting, Uncategorized

When our oldest daughter was wrestling with some emotional struggles half way through third grade, my husband and I decided that homeschooling might be a better fit for her. We finished out the year at home and happily witnessed a jump in her self-confidence and enjoyment in learning. Yes! We knew we made the right choice for her.

But what about her little sister? Kids’ personalities and needs at different stages are so unique, and choices about their education have to be unique, too. We’ve found that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for any family. As a social butterfly with a teacher she adores and a need to have some space from her overshadowing big sister, public school is where our middle kid is headed for first grade.

This untypical situation leaves us with a back-to-school prep season unlike any we’ve experienced before. Some things have stayed the same: the thrill of starting something new, an eagerness to get back to routine, wanting to pull my hair out from nonstop sibling bickering and “I’m bored” complaints. But the school year preparations – those are very different.

Where The Dough Goes

We’ve spent more money on books than clothes for our homeschooler. We’re just not as concerned about switching out her faded, well-loved summer grubs for a shiny new look. Instead, most of the back-to-school budget goes towards carefully chosen curriculum that fits our daughter’s interests, subject level and learning style. We’ll fill in the wardrobe gaps as needed with the changing seasons (and probably pay less doing it), but for now, her grass-stained knees are welcomed in class. Our younger daughter, however, will look a little more polished come September.

It should be noted that there’s a wide variety of teaching methods and philosophies when it comes to homeschooling. Many parents choose to piece together their own unit studies or lessons using mostly free resources (libraries and the internet are godsends), field trips, projects and more. That has been my own approach in the past, but this year I’m hoping to scale back my lesson-planning time and embrace a little more structure. So while our family’s back-to-school budget needs to accommodate curriculum supplies, many homeschooling parents spend next to nothing this time of year.

Supply Checklists

Pencils and erasers can be found on both of our kids’ lists this year, but that’s about where the similarity ends. Instead of traditional items like crayons, folders and tissues, our homeschooled fourth grader will get a re-stash of craft and science experiment supplies, along with copy paper for the printer. No need for a new backpack and lunchbox, but a magnifying glass and some graduated cylinders? Yes, please!

Planning and Organizing

This is where the biggest difference lies. There’s not much to it with a traditional student: make sure their hair is neat, fill their backpacks and then get them to the bus stop on time (although that is admittedly a challenge in itself). But as part of the legal requirements of homeschooling, every student needs a plan of instruction for the year. That means that the bulk of my back to school prep isn’t revolved around spending, but planning. What does my kid need and want to learn this year? How will I teach each subject? Should we join local classes or meet-ups? What field trips should we plan? All of these questions and more run are on my mind while I piece together a yearly plan and a daily/weekly routine that works for everyone.

I also look back on the past year to make note of what worked and what didn’t, and then make changes accordingly. For example, this year we’re setting up a dedicated workspace for those times when my daughter needs a retreat from her two-year-old, wanna-be-rockstar brother to give an assignment her full focus. We’re also going to try a four-day schedule, leaving a full weekday open for field trips, projects, cooking and other hands-on fun.

Just like a teacher spends time setting up their classroom in the days before their students walk in, I’ll be working on getting everything organized to make the transition out of summer vacation as smooth as possible. A little effort now will make a big difference in our daily routines. As a work-at-home mom and teach-at-home mom, organization is essential.

Despite the work involved, I’m excited to get the ball rolling! Homeschooling is just one of those things in life that isn’t always a walk in the park, but ultimately worth every bit of time and effort it takes. I’m looking forward to a fun year of learning for all of my kids!

Sarah Coppola is a wife, mom of three, Hudson Valley native and adventure-seeker. She founded Family Friendly Hudson Valley to discover and share all the great stuff for families found in our own backyard.

12
Aug
2016

Friday Favorites- NAK Hair Accessories {Giveaway}

categories: Uncategorized

Raise your hand if you are counting down the days until the kids go back to school? I know some of my friends in the south sent the kids back weeks ago. And some moms are still waiting to see their little ones on that bus. At the start of the summer I was having a really hard time accepting my babies are growing up. I felt like I had wished away our years together. Now, I am a little anxious but, I am truly excited to see my newly minted Kindergartner’s ready for their first day.

We have already selected our new back packs and planned our first day of school outfits, right down to the hair bows. My friend Tammy at NAK Products makes these super cute hair bows for every holiday and in just about any theme you could wish for. All her bows and headbands are hand made in small quantities with quality materials. I like that my girls will have one of a kind hair bows. These bows are created individually and are not mass produced. So not everyone will have one!

NAK stands for Need A Kitchen. It’s a funny name, but that is truly the reason Tammy began her business. This mom of three loves to cook, but has never had a dishwasher in her pre-1860’s kitchen! She decided to start NAK Products to earn money to fund her kitchen renovations. Tammy has a love for all things crafty so this just felt like the best way for her spend her time earning extra money. And it turns out she’s really good!

This particular bow is a replica of the bows girls get at the American Girl store. Tammy and her daughter had tea with the American Girls and there were similar bows used for the napkin rings. Little girls attending tea can take them home to use for themselves or their dolls. She recreated them for her daughter to have plenty of options to choose from.

Just when you think you can’t have enough Frozen accessories in your home, there’s this! My little Frozen fan LOVES this bow!! She has already coordinated her favorite Frozen themed dress with this bow. It is hanging in her closet ready for the days ahead in her new school.

You can find dozens of adorable bows on the NAK Products Facebook page, or at Craftsman by Design in the Poughkeepsie Plaza. Tammy also sets up at local craft fairs, so be sure to like her Facebook page so you can find her! You can also win one of your very own unique hair bows from NAK Products! I guarantee your kid will move to the head of the class in either one of these one of a kind bows.

OR

Just enter below by midnight Sunday and watch The Whatever Mom Facebook page for the winner! Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

(One winner per bow) Comment below with which bow you like best!

The Whatever Mom did not receive financial compensation for this review. Promotional product received in exchange for this review and provided by NAK Products. All genuine opinions belong solely to The Whatever Mom.

10
Aug
2016

9 Truths I Learned Baby’s First Year

categories: Healthy Moms, Mommy Wars, Parent, Parenting, Uncategorized

I thought I knew what I was getting into when I became a mom. I felt pretty prepared because I have always had kids in my home. I have fostered children and I have watched and loved kids as my own for years. I was not ready for the realism of being a full time parent of two. Let me share with you some of the things I have learned from my baby’s first year.

DON’T BUY EXPENSIVE TOYS

Yes new is great and in your new parent excitement you will buy that ridiculously priced contraption. Then once it is setup at home, you will find out the hard way that your baby hates it! Oh, and baby will only use it for three months. There are usually floor displays so you can try it before you buy it. Put your baby in it. Let them explore it. Take the time to examine it. My husband and I realized this after oohing and ahhing over a Jumperoo. We put our daughter in it and she freaked out as if she was going to seriously have a heart attack if we left her in it. We found out she prefers to wander freely. Her favorite toys are the walk behind and ride on toys we were given by family and friends.

THE RULES ARE ALWAYS CHANGING

What works the first few nights to soothe your baby will not work three nights later, nor will it work in another week. Babies are the rule makers. No matter how much you think you are going to set the rules and they are going to be on your schedule it very rarely works that way. Surrender right now! The moment that little bundle of frustrating joy is born it owns you! You will no longer have control over what time you wake up or go to sleep. You will no longer be out of the door on time and you most certainly will never be able to think the same again.

I CAN TUNE ANYTHING OUT

First time parents are typically on high alert for any little sound baby makes. During those early months my husband could hear the rustle of our baby’s crib sheets two rooms away. But as our baby grows we are learning to filter out the unnecessary noise. While on a call with a business associate, I was able to tune out an episode of Dinosaur Train playing on the TV, my baby screaming at her brother, her brother screaming back, and my husband getting the dog to bark on command while the washer and dryer were doing their jobs. My associate actually asked me to call her back because she was getting a headache from all the “background noise” in my home. When on the phone with non-parents go to a room as far away from the noise as possible. Folks without kids cannot tune out the commotion of your daily life the same way you can.

MY MARRIAGE CAN WITHSTAND ANYTHING

Just before the birth of my daughter, my family endured a lot of big changes. The week before she was born, my husband was seriously injured when a drunk driver hit him. Then within a month, we unexpectedly gained full custody of my stepson. Together we were struggling to adjust to full time parenthood with a newborn and a four year old. Neither of us were able to work. He was trying to heal from his injuries, and I was still healing from pregnancy on bed rest and child birth. I started to feel like a single parent of two while my husband was limited physically in what he could do to help. This all took a huge toll on us as a couple. Somehow, we made it through. Talk, Talk, Talk especially during the times you do not want to. Becoming a new parent is life changing in its self and when life adds those extra struggles, the situation feels almost impossible.

I AM INVINCIBLE

After becoming a mom, I completely fell apart. I struggled with the lack of sleep, the lack of help and lack of knowledge. However, I found an inner strength I never knew I had. Suddenly, I was able to feed a newborn with one arm while making a bowl of cereal for a toddler. I learned to multitask like a boss. I was able to keep a floundering family together and I was able to become me again.

On those really tough days, give yourself credit for even the small things you accomplish each day. Eventually you will start to see the bigger things you accomplish. When feeling like you cannot possibly take one more thing thrown at you, look in the mirror and tell yourself “you got this.” Be your own cheerleader because there will be times when others just do not understand what you are dealing with. You will overcome!

I TREASURE EVEN THE TINY MOMENTS

During the struggles of this first year as a mom, it has been the tiny moments that kept me going. A simple brush of my husband’s hand across mine reminds me that the man I married is still in there somewhere. Seeing my baby sleeping on her daddy’s chest reminds me of why I fell in love with him. Hearing my baby’s first giggle refreshes my weary soul. Watching my two children play together reminds me how blessed I truly am. When life is at its toughest keep looking for those tiny moments until you find a glimpse of joy. The tiniest moment can be the glue you need to mend that broken heart or those frayed emotions.

HUGS ARE SOOTHING

When children are hurt, or scared, unsure or happy they look for a hug. We can do the same! Hugs can be comforting and assure us we are safe. I personally have always enjoyed a good hug from a special cousin. I’ve even driven to her job just to get a hug. This last year I learned to accept hugs from others who could see me struggling but had no words to console me. HUG! It is that simple. Sometimes we just need to feel a little human connection. A hug is the simplest way to connect. Did I mention HUG!?

IT IS OK TO CRY

We are born with the natural ability to cry and yet we are taught that it is not OK to do it as we grow up. During some of my toughest moments the only thing that made me feel better was crying. Sometimes tears would just roll down my face without me realizing it. There is no shame in crying. It is like cleaning our emotional chalkboard of stress. Crying can lead to sleeping and sleeping equals silence. I am not just talking about babies. Sometimes all we really need is a good cry and a nap.

I AM NEVER ALONE

It is strange but when you become a new mom it feels like you are suddenly alone and nobody understands what you are going through. The reality is once you have children you will never be alone again! Even though I wasn’t really alone, there were still times I felt like I was drowning in loneliness. Don’t be afraid to invite friends and family to visit. Get out of the house and find community events to enjoy.

In this past year, I had to find what worked for me and my family to survive the curve balls thrown at us. We made it! Our struggles have given us a new understanding of our relationships with each other and our friends. If you are struggling too, just know that you will overcome the first year, and the second year, and the third year and so on!

Debra is a first time mom to her beautiful rainbow baby Skyler, a wife, a blogger and an ordained minister. She enjoys crafting and creating educational fun for her step sons and decorating her home. Find Debra at Crossing New Bridges on Facebook and on Twitter.

05
Aug
2016

Friday Favorites – My New Breakfast Routine

categories: Fitness, Friday Favorites, health, Healthy Moms, Meal times, Snack Prep, Time savers, Uncategorized

Oh boy do I hate breakfast. It’s not that I don’t like eating breakfast; it’s just that I have two picky eaters who protest everything I make. The amount of time it takes me to cater to their morning desires and get them to actually eat, I have very little time left to make my own nutritious breakfast. With school starting in just a few weeks I am already worried about making sure everyone has enough time to eat a healthy breakfast before the bus arrives. Including me!

I have some crazy food sensitivities so now I have to watch everything I eat. I often make all my food from scratch (not requesting any medals here moms. I’d quickly give up having to grill my own chicken for a fast food chicken sandwich any night). Not being able to eat gluten, dairy, soy and eggs makes breakfast a big challenge for me. I have the best luck with whole food smoothies, but oh man that takes a bit more time than I have in the morning. Yes, I can prep ahead at night for the entire week, but that is another to-do on my already lengthy list. What I need is simple, quick, easy and nutritious.

When Kathy from Kick Ass Healthy Moms contacted me directly to sample some gluten free, dairy, soy and egg free products I was super excited to give them a try! It is everything I am looking for- fiber, protein, vitamins, free from my trigger allergens and very convenient to use. There is very little prep time involved which is key for me!

Kathy and I spoke over the phone for a quick no pressure consultation to discuss my dietary needs and my lifestyle. I joined her Facebook welcome group so I could meet other moms like me and get some tips about including healthy eating in my busy day. Together we came up with a plan to get a healthy breakfast and pump up my energy! We agreed to keep in touch via email. It was reassuring to have Kathy available at any time to ask questions.

I’m not big into weight loss shakes, but if that is your thing then trust me these products will work for you. I lost 8 lbs. in the first month by following the weight loss methods (and not a lot of exercise). I replaced two meals a day and ate two snacks. I love how low maintenance it makes my breakfast routine! I just rip open a packet and whirl in my drink blender with water and ice and I am done. I can drink it while I’m making breakfast for the kids.

Each shake packet carries 250 calories and is packed with over 20 grams of plant based protein and 8 grams of fiber. As much as I love my whole fruit and berry smoothies- these shake packs keep me feeling fuller for longer; which is exactly what I need to keep up with two busy kids. I also notice I have less sugar cravings (you know that gotta have afternoon treat). I plan to continue with the shakes simply because they are such a quick way to get a nutritious breakfast together for me in the morning. All the ingredients are non-gmo and there is nothing I can’t pronounce.

Kathy also sent me the Greens powder. On its own it tastes…well, wild. As in I am eating from the wild. When I consulted with her about my disappointment in the taste she suggested adding a half a scoop to my morning shake. So much better!!! The point of the greens is to help supplement the amount of green veggies you get in a day. Adding into my morning shake gives me one veggie serving at the start of the day. On those days I am running around crazy and I forget to eat, or I don’t have enough time to plan, I am covered with my initial serving of greens. A friend of mine shares that she even puts it in her kids smoothies on the days they are especially picky about eating.

This right here is my liquid gold and I love it! If I drink this one alone as a 1 oz. shot it is also has a potent taste. Pouring it over ice and adding cold water creates a slightly sweet green drink that I actually like. I savor this as my mid-morning treat. It is also a great way to ensure I am drinking enough water in my day. (Something I am always working on).

The b-vitamins, herbal blend; juice and fruit extracts give an extra anti-oxidant boost as well a natural energy boost. There is no caffeine added to this, but I am telling you it gives me a better energy boost than a cup of coffee. If I have a really draining day I drink a second around 3:00 p.m. to get me through the rest of our crazy day.

There were some other goodies included in my sample pack like the 5 hour energy shot full of b-vitamins. After drinking it I felt more awake and alert. My mental fog wasn’t as thick. I’m not saying that’s a cure for mommy brain, but I definitely noticed some of that lift. Kathy also shared some dark chocolate and Isalean bars that were so good!

After only a few days I had more energy to keep up. I felt more alert and less mental fog. And after two weeks I started to release weight and just felt good overall. I still really love eating whole foods, but the shakes, the greens and the Ionix Supreme are exactly what I need to supplement those difficult mornings with. As a mom I often neglect my own needs, like eating a meal, to satisfy the needs of my family. I don’t have to do that now!

No financial compensation was made for this review. Promotional products provided with compliments by Kathy LaMarr and not Isagenix directly, in exchange for this review. All thoughts and honest opinions are solely my own.

03
Aug
2016

Sometimes I’m Jealous of Moms with One Kid

categories: Uncategorized

Yup. I said it. While I love my kids, and I wouldn’t do anything to change this crazy chaos of having four kids 5 and under, sometimes I look at the mom with just one kid and wish it were me.

How amazing would it be to completely focus on one child for more than 10 minutes straight? Sometimes one of my older girls wants to tell me a story, or build a Lego castle, and after a few minutes her little brother has gotten into something or one of the other kids starts crying. Even though I tell her I’ll be back, I know I’ve lost the moment.

Swim lessons? It would be awesome to do mommy and me, but there’s only one me and always at least 2 of them. The library for circle time? Nope. The library is the worst. They all have to sit and be quiet while someone reads a book; I can do that at home and not stress about how much of a trainrweck we look like when it’s time to go. The park? We tried to go to the park once when there was a field trip happening. I turned right around and went home. There’s no way I can keep track of my four kids in a sea of 40 other kids.

I discovered I can fit three kids on my lap at once, but that means one is always left out. At every meal it’s a negotiation for which two kids get to sit next to me. I feel like every day is an intricate balancing act of everyones emotional, physical, and mental demands, and most days I’m failing.

I’ve started thinking about the financial aspect too. Not the bigger issues of putting four kids through college, but the smaller impact having four kids can put on my budget. Souvenirs when we’re on vacation, treats when we’re at the store, uniform and activity fees in sports, even taking four kids to a fair. With tickets, food, rides, games, etc it adds up. Our tooth fairy needs to get a side job because it’s going to get expensive paying for four kids teeth!

Even something as simple as running errands; if I’m at the house and I discover I don’t have an ingredient that I need for dinner, there’s no running to the store really quick if my husband isn’t home. I’m making a different dinner. It’s at least an hour ordeal to get everyone ready, shoes on, in the car, buckled, to the store, in the cart, items found and purchased, then back in the car, buckled, and unloaded at the house.

How much easier would it be if I could just focus on one kid? Getting their shoes on. Getting them buckled. Shopping with one kid in the cart. Buckling one back into the car. Back to the house.

And taking one kid to the fair; going on rides wouldn’t be a problem because no one would have to stay back with the kids that were too small. I could cuddle one kid in my lap and no one would feel left out. You want to go to the park today? Sure! I only have to keep track of one kid; perfect!

Realistically I know it’s not that simple. If I really only had one kid I wouldn’t feel this way, because I wouldn’t know how crazy it is to have four. And I would never wish any of my kids away; they’re all amazing little people who I couldn’t imagine living without. But sometimes, I look at the mom who says she’s tired from chasing her one kid around all day, or that it’s hard to go anywhere with a kid in tow, and I’m jealous.

Jennifer is a stay at home mom with two sets of twins. She copes with having four kids ages 5 and 3 with wine, desserts and cooking. But at the end of the day she wouldn’t trade her crazy life for anything. You can read more from Jennifer at Sweet Discord.