Category: Parent

That’s Where You’ll Find Me!

Where You'llFind Me

Hey All! Do you know you can now follow The Whatever Mom on BlogLovin’ ?! It’s true! If you are not using BlogLovin you will be soon! It’s a great way to keep all your favorite blogs organized in one place! (Think Pinterest for all your favorite blog posts!). Go check it out!

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If you can’t find me in any of the places listed above it means I am hiding from my kids and enjoying a cup of icy cold coffee. You know, my happy place. *wink*

 

The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

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Keep Your Kids Safe Around Water

Be Your Own Life Guard

 

At 12:45 p.m. on Saturday July 18th I nearly lost my mind, but thankfully I did not loose my cool. I was at a birthday party with my girls at a local beach. It was a beautiful day and everyone was having a great time. Typically, I do not consider myself a helicopter parent. I feel like I allow a reasonable amount of space between me and my children for them to feel safe, confident and independent. However, that amount of space significantly decreases when water is involved. Anyone can drown in less than 2 inches of water if not carefully supervised, or respectful of water safety rules.

I am not a super strong swimmer, and I am outnumbered 2 to 1 when it’s just the girls and me at the beach. I am hyper vigilant, especially when they go in opposite directions. While we were at the beach both of my daughters were wearing life vests and only approximately 15 feet away from me. Suddenly, a rough set of waves came to shore and I saw my daughter topple over. She lost her footing and I could see very clearly she began to struggle to catch herself. She started moving her arms like she was trying to swim, but I know she does not know how to swim yet. I could tell by the look on her face she was in trouble. I immediately ran into the water and began shouting, “you’re OK! Mommy is coming!!”

I reached her in a matter of seconds. I scooped her up into my arms and sat her on my hip and began to sooth her. I was impressed at how little she panicked and she didn’t even cry. Another mom came over to chat and I told her what happened. All of this took approximately 30 seconds of time. The life guard on duty, a young teenage girl, never left her guard tower. She didn’t even come down the ladder to ask me if my daughter was OK, she leaned forward in her chair and casually called over, “Is she OK?” I was so angry I could see red. How could this life guard not identify a dangerous situation that happened literally several feet in front of her guard tower? She gets paid to keep an eye out for signs of struggle in the water. Doesn’t she know that drowning is silent?

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I was incredibly agitated by the fact she didn’t rush down as soon as she noticed what had happened. It is her job to assess if someone is in danger. Even while I was soothing my child on my hip it was her job to confirm we were safe. That means leaving her chair to come down and speak with me directly. I was so angry I couldn’t even talk to this girl. I was terrified of how I was going to verbally rip her to pieces. Man, that mama bear instinct is STRONG!

I’ve had many friends tell me not to worry while at the beach, that’s what the life guard is there for. I have witnessed many parents lying out on the sand (sometimes napping) while their older children are in the water alone. I know I am the first one to say hey, you do whatever it takes to get through your day with kids, but water safety is one of the things where I draw the line on saying Whatever too.

Thankfully, I was very vigilant. I know that accidents happen so quickly in water. So, parents, no matter how old your children are, do not take your eyes off of them for a second. Do not leave their young lives up to teenagers who are paying way less attention. I heard from friends at the party afterward that the young guard was texting on her cell phone. Perhaps that is why she completely missed someone struggling in the water only 15 feet from her station. If you are the parent of a teenager, or parent of a young life guard, please share this story with them. Let them know their job is important as people’s lives are in their hands. It may be my child’s precious life in their hands. No text message is worth the loss of anyone’s life.

I may not have been a helicopter parent before, but I am now! Especially while at the beach!

Click here for safety tips and quick lessons from Lifeguard 101. There are options for water safety inside the home and outside of the home.

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Technology Killed The Teenage Romance

Teenage Romance (1)

We were so lucky to have my niece Ashley stay with us last week. My girls were smitten with having an older cousin to snuggle with and play with. They couldn’t stop staring at her the first two days she was here. It was very adorable. I was thankful for the extra set of hands when corralling two little ones. Ashley and I had fun watching TV and eating snacks, shopping and just laughing once the kids were in bed.

Ashley is dating a new boy and left him behind for the entire week. (OMG!) They would text each other from the moment they woke up until the moment they went to bed. This made me kind of chuckle when I remembered my own teenage romance… circa 1990. I was just 15 when I started dating. I fell in love with a boy who’s family lived on opposite sides of the country. Every summer he would hop a plane and travel between families for a few weeks before coming home. I remember thinking this was the biggest heartache I could ever have. Ahhhh teenage naivete.

To pass the time until we were united again we had to write each other actual letters. . .  on paper. . . using a pen. It was so exciting when we discovered email!! We could fire off a love letter at any time and just had to wait for the once a week we were able to check it! Today teenagers have entire conversations via text messaging! No more hand written letters on carefully selected (and scented) stationary.

If we wanted to include a picture of our fun adventures we had to drop off our entire camera at the drug store and wait two days for it to process. Then we put the pictures into an envelop, added a stamp and placed it in a mailbox. It could take up to 5 days for a letter to reach our love. The crazy kids of today can send pics via Snap Chat, Instagram, Twitter, or post on Facebook in a matter of seconds!

If we wanted to talk over the phone we had to wait until a certain hour of the day for the cheapest rate. Then we could only talk to each other for 30 minutes (45 if our parents were distracted). We had to pay actual money to talk to each other on the phone. Today teenagers can talk as long as they want at any time of day via Face Time, or Skype, or through any number of apps without the meter running!

There are apps and websites that exist today that allow you to track your loved ones airline flight. Back in the dark ages of the 1990’s no such thing existed. I had a hand written itinerary that I copied off of my boy friend’s airline ticket and I just had to wait. It was a guessing game of how much time it would take him to get home.

Technology has ruined the teenage romance. No more wondering, “Is he thinking of me?”  when you can text him 17 times a day, “are you thinking of me?” “how about now?” “Still thinking of me?” No more mystery of “what is she doing right now?” when you can see all the pics posted on Facebook.

I caught myself saying things this week like, “in my day” or “back in the days we didn’t have iphones.” I had to laugh a little at the thought of my 16 year old self tethered to a portable electronic device. It isn’t just the device I’d be tethered to, but the boy on the other side. It might seem convenient to have instant access to your sweetie, but where is the mystery and the romance in that?

 

The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

 

 

 

 

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My Dear Graduates

Dear Graduates Class of 2015

The girls and I are getting ready to head home for graduation weekend. I have three nephews ready to meet the next phases of their lives. The little guy just graduated Pre-K and the two older (ages 18 and 19) are graduating high school and ready to face the world.

I was just 17 years old when I graduated high school and I naively thought everything in life was going to be easier than it is. I knew there would be struggles, but I had no idea the lessons I would learn and the difficulties I’d encounter to learn them. My nephews (and my nieces) are my first kids. Watching them grow up has been a joyful experience I am so thankful to be blessed with. I want to protect them from the evils of this world. But, I can’t. So, I hope sharing these small words of wisdom on their graduation day will help them along the way.

1. Always Be kind. To everyone you meet. Not only is it the right thing to do, but one day you will find yourself in a position where you need someone’s kindness. Treat other’s the way you want to be treated in any situation, and always show compassion.

2. Always Know You Are Enough. You may find yourself surrounded by people with more money, more education, more friends, etc. But, no one holds more value than you. take a breath and tell yourself, “I belong here too.”

3. Never Be Afraid of Hard Work. Nothing in life is handed to us. If you want more from life don’t be afraid to start at the bottom and work your way to the top. It will feel difficult and sometimes pointless, but just keep working. One day all that hard work and struggle will be rewarded.

4. Remember To Rest As Much As You Work. We spend most of our young adult life working hard and chasing new opportunities. Take time to make a memory, soak in a sunset, remember the feeling of holding someone’s hand, or remember how the ocean smells. These memories will carry you through the struggles in life (and one day old age).

5. No Matter Where You Go, Just Be You. Don’t change yourself to impress other people. You are who you are (and that is enough). If you have to work to get someone to like you or notice you then the relationship isn’t genuine. You will find greater quality relationships by first accepting yourself.

6. Money Is Not Everything. Money is important to paying the bills, but it is not what you build your life on. Pursuing money above love will only bring you loneliness and heartache. May you always have enough to be comfortable, and just enough extra to buy a few luxuries.

7. Never Be Afraid To Be Generous. Give away your money, open your heart, volunteer your skills, lend out your things even if they never come back. The energy and love you put out into this world will always come back to you. If you are generous life will be generous to you. If you are stingy life will treat you the same.

8. Make Safe Choices. Sometimes it’s easy to go with the flow and just follow the crowd. You may find yourself ready to do something that goes against your instincts. It’s OK to say no and make the choice that feels right to you.

9. Take Care of Your Body. Eat nourishing food, give yourself plenty of rest and take good care of it. One day you will need it to take care of you.

10. Always Look Before You Sit. This piece of advice was delivered to me on my graduation day and I still live by it. Nothing ruins your day, or your mood, faster than sitting in something sticky or messy.

Always remember this: Always. No matter where you go in life, no matter what job you have, who you marry, no matter what religion you choose (or don’t choose); even if you chose to change your body, I will always love you. Always.

Congratulations graduates! Go make yourselves proud and build the life you were meant to live and enjoy every single moment of it!

 

The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

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I Said I’d Never Do —>THIS!

Potty Fairies

I remember watching the Pull Ups commercial where the little girl is sometimes a “potty super hero, and sometimes she’s a potty princess” and I thought, “yeah that’s not gonna happen!” I am not going to make potty training this magical fun fest that never goes away. You have to pee, you put it in the potty end of discussion.

Well, fast forward to age four and a half and my little lovies are still fearful of using the big potty for more than the business of #1. We still have issues with #2 (To my child’s future therapist, I am not sharing this to humiliate my child as she will claim, but it is to help OTHER MOMS know they are not the only ones who do these crazy things in the name of helping their child “grow”).

Ya’ll… I willingly sprinkled glitter (a.k.a. magical fairy dust) all over my house to convince my children they had been visited by the potty fairy. What is the purpose of this potty fairy? Well, each child gets their own personal fairy who will go with them to the potty and keep them safe. I assured my innocent little cherubs that these fairies will give them the confidence they need to be successful little poopers. These magic fairies report back to Fairy Godmother who will grant them prizes based on their success. I said I’d never make the potty a magical place. And, now I hang my head in shame and share with the world the biggest, fattest lie I have ever told my children. And why? Because I am just trying to make it through ONE day without having to clean up you know. . . p-o-o-p.

We are on day two of the magic and so far one kid has lost her stupid little fairy, and the other is insisting her fairy will be making the poops for her, so she never has to sit on the potty again. *Sigh* I tried moms. I tried.

The most useful parenting advice I ever received: “all those things you said  you’ll never do- you will do them ALL!” So, fess up moms! What have you done that you said you would NEVER DO?

 

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Dear Moms of The World

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This week has been incredibly eye opening. On Monday I had a lovely visit with a more seasoned mom who has raised three children, all three on their way out of the nest. I was a little on edge with two whirling littles, mostly because we are so noisy. I was worried they’d make a mess, break something or just completely melt down. Thankfully, they were complete angels! It was such a wonderful experience spending time with a mom whom I did not have to itemize my organic food choices with, or plead my case for having to formula feed babies instead of breast feeding. It was just nice to be accepted as a member of this mom community where we all work our hardest to provide the best for our kids.

Then Tuesday came and the shaming began. Articles started popping up in my Facebook news feed about the stigma of having a c-section. I was curious to know if anyone actually felt shamed for having a c-section. I had a c-section and people often ask if I did. Maybe that’s par for the twin parenting course? Maybe I am too busy to hear these kinds of reactions, or maybe I’ve just been really lucky I haven’t crossed paths with such ugliness. But, no one has ever commented on how I “took the easy way out,” or worse, “didn’t actually give birth.”

dear moms

Dear Moms of the World,

What are we doing????! Are we really that insecure about our positions as mothers that we need someone else to feel superior to? Aren’t we better than that? Aren’t we in charge of role modeling loving, caring, productive behaviors so we can raise loving, caring and productive human beings? Why are we “mean girling” potential friends and judging moms whose stories we most likely don’t even know?! Why are we freely dumping our personal opinions onto the world wide web and not sorry when it hurts? Can we all agree that every decision we make for our kids is hard? Can we all just have a giant group hug and drink a hot cup of coffee til this whole me vs. you thing blows over? I know I’d really like that.

Sincerely,

The Whatever Mom

 

 

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5 Best Practices for Date Night

menu

My husband and I have officially been on two dates in the same month. This is rare. Very rare. The last time we had a “date” alone together it was 2012. I can’t really call it a date. A friend of mine stayed with the kids while my husband trained me as a substitute for his early morning paper route. We woke up together at 2:30 a.m. grabbed some coffee and hit the open road. The sun was about to rise as we clink’d our hot cups of coffee to celebrate a new day. I know it sounds kind of sexy until you hear the details. He drove us all over the twisty back mountain roads while I tried not to vomit. My lack of sleep in combination with car sickness did not make for a very pleasant experience. P.s. I never drove the route again.

As we were getting ready for our first official date night in four years I started thinking, can I remember how to act while on a date? Would I remember I could sit down in a chair, or a booth to chew my food, or would my sense memory kick in and I’d want to scarf my meal over the kitchen sink? What if my waitress drops some food? Would I immediately hand her a napkin and grumble, “pick it up” or would I remember that’s not my job here. Then suddenly, I worried, WHAT would we talk about?

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Thankfully, once we were settled at our table we immediately set the ground rule of no talking about the kids or his job the whole night. Those topics weren’t off the table, but they were among a checklist of things to talk about. We also agreed the phones could be on the table in silence and only used if the baby sitter contacted us (and of course to take pics of our awesome food). Then something really amazing happened. I realized that even though my husband and I have very different interests I do find him interesting. His opinions have always been important to me. He can really be insightful in ways that I am not. I often take for granted that he does know me better than anyone else (he likes to look at the menu online before we leave to silently predict my menu choices, just so he can say “I knew you’d pick that!”).  Our conversations were about how much we love the kids, how much we hope for them. We talked about politics, religion, education, current events- all the topics that are off the table at play dates yet I so desperately crave having conversations about. It was like when we first started dating. When we would stay up all night long and talk about our lives, our hopes and dreams for the future. It is nice to connect like that now and to remember we are people not just parents.

 

Here are 5 date night  best practices:

best practices

1. Dress to impress. You don’t have to go over board here. (And, yes make-up is optional). It is nice to see my husband in something other than his work clothes. I’m sure he is happy to see me return to the woman he married vs. the scraggly mom in jeans and a sloppy bun. It fires up that chemistry between us.

2. Keep it simple. Coordinating schedules and bed time routines and date night details can be stressful. Don’t worry about all the planets lining up just right. Take advantage of the time you do have. If you have a baby sitter for only 2 hours don’t drive to the fancy restaurant out of town. Pack a picnic and hit the park closest to your house, walk the mall hand in hand and window shop, or grab a cup of coffee at that cute little bistro you’ve had your eye on.

3. Be your best self. We live in such a rushed state as parents. We shout from one side of the house with demands while chasing after kids. Our days are filled with noise. Slow down. Compliment each other. Open doors for each other and say kind things in a nice voice. Remember the softer side of your relationship and reconnect with those lovely people for a while.

4. Communicate. Put down the phone, or leave it in your purse. Make eye contact with each other and not a TV. Share your thoughts on your relationship and tell your spouse things you appreciate about them but maybe didn’t have time to say it. Remember this isn’t a time to share everything that pissed you off during the week. And for the love do NOT bring up your in-laws!

5. Enjoy this time together. You will spend the next twenty-one years rushing and trying to meet the demands of the little people in your home. It’s nice to press the pause button on all that chaos and connect with the person you will spend (if you’re lucky) the next 50 years with.

What are your best date night practices?

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Dreams of Chicory and Powdered Sugar on A Winters Day

bignet

Here’s a #TBT for ya! (That’s a Throw Back Thursday). My husband was kind enough to surprise me with a trip to New Orleans for my 30th birthday! (Many years ago). It was a dream come true to spend a week in the beautiful Crescent city. One of my favorite memories from that vacation is our breakfast trip to Cafe du mond. A small little slice of local life mixed with bustling tourism. The beignets and chicory coffee are amazing! Before leaving NOLA I vow to make them once a year and add chicory to my coffee forever!

That ambition didn’t pan out. But, the memory still remains.

I remember these little pillows from heaven during this weeks snow storm. We spent the day inside wearing our pajamas and snuggling on the couch. The snow coming down in powdery fluffs- my kids asked me if we are in a snow globe. Watching the feathery precipitation pile up reminds me of the snowy mounds of powdered sugar on those delicious biegnets. I quickly Google a recipe to see if I even have the ingredients for them. Of course not. But, I DO have frozen bread dough!

Even before my favorable memories of biegnets and chicory coffee, I have even more delightful memories of making “Pizza frite.” I am not sure why my family calls fried dough “fried pizza,” but I think it is because we shape the dough into small little pizzas before we fry them. We spent many, many, Saturday mornings making these together! I am happy to pass this tradition down to my girls!

Lucky for me I have everything I need to make beignet knock offs:

  • Frozen bread dough
  • Coconut Oil
  • Powdered sugar (or granular sugar and cinnamon)
  • Paper lunch sacks
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Ingredients for a delicious snowy morning.

 

Simply follow thawing instructions on the back of the package and allow bread to rise.

Heat 1/4 cup of coconut oil in large skillet or frying pan. (Coconut oil is pretty much a health food- so you are really doing everyone a favor by frying your dough in it).

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Little hands love working the dough!

 

Once the dough is ready, pull off small pieces to roll into a ball. Using your fingers begin to flatted the dough, keeping it in round circles.

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The shapes aren’t perfect when you let the kids help. But, it all cooks the same!

 

You will know the dough is ready to flip when the outer edges of the dough start to brown and thicken. The edges loose their “sheen” and you may see air bubbles. (Similar to cooking a pancake).

Once you flip the dough allow your pizza frite to cook completely on the other side (approx. another 3 minutes).

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Doughy goodness before adding the sweet stuff.

 

Dough should be golden, light and fluffy.

Next add powdered sugar, or sugar and cinnamon into a paper lunch sack.

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Personal preference on which type of sugar to use.

 

Little hands LOVE to put the dough in the sack and shake it all up! Watch out! This could get messy!!

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Covering the dough in sugar is the best part!

 

If you have ever had a beignet you will know these are not exactly the same. But, they will do with a cup of sweet coffee on a white washed wintry day in NY.

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Beignet Knock-offs

 

Cheers! (My other favorite vacation memory includes martini’s in the oldest cigar bar in NOLA).

30Rox
Toasting to 30 at the French 75

 

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Love Letters That Last A Lifetime

Give more than chocolates on Valentine's Day
Give more than chocolates on Valentine’s Day

Let’s talk Valentine’s day. I’m sure by now you already have your Pintrest board all pinned and ready to go. So, I won’t bore you with another crafty hand print to hang on the fridge, or to mail off to grandma. Instead I want to share with you my most favorite tradition of all. It’s so simple and will only cost pennies to make. Are you ready? Write your kids a love letter.

Growing up my mom struggled to make ends meet as a single mom working three jobs. My siblings and I really didn’t get to see her often. My mom didn’t get to attend my soccer games, or school pageants because she was always working. I know this wore on her and it was not easy missing out on so much. But, every Valentine’s day we could count on two things: 1. a heart shaped box of chocolates and 2. a love letter. I remember rushing down the stairs to find both left at my place on the dining room table.

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Write a letter for every birthday and holiday to tuck away for your child.

 

I loved opening the envelop to see her pretty penmanship float across the page in precise circles and loops. It was almost comforting to see my name written in her script. Every year she said all the things she didn’t have time to say to me on a daily basis. How proud she was of me, how much she loved me. I still have my letters tied in a ribbon, tucked away in an old box my mother decorated for me. It is one of my most cherished childhood possessions.

Write the date and holiday on the envelop.
Be sure to include the date!

I love this tradition so much I started doing it with my own kids. I know they are only four and can’t read yet, but I have purchased a card every year since they were born. I have written to each of them how much I love them. I seal the envelop, write the year on it and tuck it away in their keepsake box. Now, I purchase a card for every major holiday and I write in it how we spent our holiday, what they were into at that time, what milestones they hit, or something personal about how I feel about being their mom.

Our box of keepsakes and love letters.
Our box of keepsakes and love letters.

One day I’ll hand over the box and hopefully they’ll allow me to open it with them.

 

Tips for writing a love letter to your child:

1. Tell them how much you love them. You may say it every day, but writing it down allows them to revisit it any time they need to.

2. Share your favorite times with them. Maybe you took a special hike, or played a new game together. Maybe you love that time you danced in the rain together, or how much you love rocking them to sleep at night. Reading your perspective from those special events really deepens their understanding of your bond.

3. Tell them how it feels to be their parent. We all get so busy with life. Our kids need to hear how happy it makes us feel to be their parent. (You know in between all the commands for “get your shoes on!” “hurry up let’s go!”).

4. Tell them what you are proud of them for. Not just “great game,” but how about “I love that you enjoy sports so much. It makes me proud to cheer you on every week.”

5. Share your dreams for them. Encourage your child to be anything they want to be. Teenagers especially need to hear this; busy teens need to know how much their parents are invested in their happiness. Trust me it will be worth all that eye rolling.

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Insanity of Living with The Toddlerazzi

I found this Facebook post I wrote on November 15, 2012- just weeks before my twins turned two.

Day in the life of a SAHM

November 15, 2012 at 2:17pm

Many people ask me (on a near daily basis) is it hard having twins? My reply is usually “depends on the day.”

I thought I’d share a little glimpse into one of those days:

Thursday November 15, 2012

5:44 a.m. wide awake

6:00 roll out of bed to tackle dishes, laundry, breakfast and get dinner in the crock pot.

6:22 alerted by shrieking child who isn’t due to awaken for another hour. Quickly calculate approx. how long I can let her cry it out while I take a shower.

6:23 hop in shower while drinking coffee

6:24 get dressed while brushing teeth

6:25 walk in to get girls who are angrily emptying their crib in protest to my delay

6:30 give girls bowl of rice crispies and cup of milk

6:32 on hands and knees cleaning rice crispies off of floor

7:00 chase first child and tackle her into outfit & do her hair.

7:22 chase second child and tackle her into outfit & do her hair.

7:30 engage in philosophical debate about why we wear clothes.

7:32 give up and let them run naked.

8:00 attempt to finish dishes while the kids empty dirty laundry from basket and scatter about the house.

8:10 pick up scattered laundry while the girls hunt for mischievous projects

8:15 pick up box full of dried pasta dumped onto kitchen floor while demanding, “don’t eat that!”

8:30 diaper change goes awry x 2.

8:45 Someone frees the kitchen drawer from captivity. I clean up the mess and kiss non-existent boo-boo.

8:50 attempt to make 2nd pot of coffee with a toddler attached to each leg.

9:00 Blue’s Clues TAKE ME AWAY!

9:15 Blue’s Clues is not working- spend next 10 minutes breaking up fist fight over who gets to be in mommy’s lap.

9:30 realize I didn’t eat yet. Quickly make scrambled eggs.

9:35 endure hostile take over of my breakfast.

9:36 begin cursing every person who’s ever asked me, “are you going to have another?”

10:00 both girls start rummaging in the cupboard and argue with me that the gallon sized vinegar bottle is in fact juice. Go ahead try it- I DARE ya!

10:03 attempted unauthorized potty break, assaulted by the toddlerazzi invading my privacy.

10:15 begin the great diaper chase

10:40 children mock my attempts to build with blocks by kicking over my tower and laughing.

10:50 drift off and quickly awakened by someone slapping me and yelling, “mommymommymommyyyyyyyyyyy!”

11:00 turn on Blue’s Clues and forced to participate in ritualistic wailing for mail.

11:15 held captive on the couch and forced to watch as Blue finds every stinking last clue.

12:00 prepared a lovely meal for the floor to enjoy.

12:30 on hands and knees again to clean up floor.

12:45 play let’s make a deal- if you let me change your diaper you can have a cookie!

1:00 toss children in crib with cookie… stick a fork in me cuz I’m DONE!

That’s only HALF MY DAY!!

This post made me laugh then, and it makes me laugh now. When I was in the thick of the insanity of taking care of two toddlers alone I didn’t always find the humor. It felt like those struggles were going to stick around for a long time. The good news is it is two years later and we have all survived and moved on to different dramas!

I wasn’t the most patient parent, and sometimes I put way too much pressure on myself to make everyone happy (friends, family, kids, hubby) and forgot about myself. I really hated when people said, “you will miss these days.” The last thing I thought I’d miss is the nonstop screaming and crying and lack of shower time. I still don’t miss that part, but what I miss most is each unique little age and stage. I feel like I just didn’t get enough time to enjoy each kid during particular stages. It was just the three of us and not enough of me to go around. I felt rushed to get them through their milestones so I could check them off my parental to-do list.

Now that they are four, things are calming down in many ways. My girls are still a handful, and we still have our intense moments of battling wills. But it has only taken me the past four years to understand what it means to slow down, relax and don’t sweat the small stuff. The house is a little messier, the crafts get set aside and I’m happier to just sit down and hold my girls close. This is our last year together before they spring board into being a “big kid”: kids with their own opinions and mom just gets a little less cool each day. I already miss the spunky little toddlers they used to be with their chubby little bodies bobbing through the house, their tiny little giggles and the sweetness of their tiny head tucked under my chin.

Even though people warned me to slow down, take it easy and don’t rush- I just couldn’t understand it until I walked that path myself. I am not one to loiter with mom guilt, but there are days I feel completely guilty for wanting to hurry us through the roughest parts. I didn’t realize that would also hurry us through the sweetest parts too.

Enjoy the insanity- it doesn’t last as long as you think. And, one day when it is over you really will miss it!

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