I hope you enjoyed my meet a mom series this summer and found a sense of solidarity among these interviews. Even though the moms featured are business owners, writers, bakers, scientists and more, as moms they still have to endure kid tantrums and picky eating. As schools across the country begin to reopen, I want to focus more on content moms can use right now, so I am going to retire the series (for now). Before I do, I thought maybe now would be a good time to share a little about myself. Things have certainly changed since I began writing
I started writing about my messy life as a mom nearly 8 years ago while my twins were toddlers. Back then, life was messy in the very literal sense. My kids were into finger paints and playdough, dumping cereal and pulling pans out of the cupboards. I was living through the early messy phases of potty training and picky eating. I learned that the messiest part of all, was me. I felt like a failure every day. I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the other moms. Most days were a scramble, so I started sharing those moments and solutions that work for my family. Turns out, other moms feel the same way. I often hear from moms, that reading this blog gives them permission to let go of making things perfect and that it’s ok to embrace the chaos.
My twins are now pre-teens. Life looks messy in a new way. There are many emotional messes and sibling arguments to overcome. The bills are tighter, my kids need deeper conversations about life and there still aren’t enough hours in the day to finish every task demanded of me as mom, a wife, a writer, a blogger and from my own expectations. And, don’t even get me started on the demands of parenting through a pandemic!
However, the payoff to all this stressful living is watching my kids become independent and self-driven little people. Being a mom is a pretty amazing journey. It really does go by as fast as people tell you. Along the way there are many unexpected speed bumps and worries you wouldn’t have if you weren’t in charge of someone else’s survival. In the end, all of those messes clean up, and everything works out.
Meet The Whatever Mom – a.k.a Roxanne!
What is the name of your blog? The Whatever Mom (obvi)
Who is your target audience? Moms just like me who are trying to make it through the day with as much sanity as we can.
Why did you begin blogging? When I became a mom there was this very thin line of acceptance for sloppy buns and rolling into play groups a total hot mess. It was also taboo to talk about things like miscarriage, divorce, marriage issues and worries about your kid’s development during park meet ups. I can’t tell you how many times I’d meet new parents at the park and hear how perfect their lives were, while they fed their kids all organic fruits and seeds from their stainless-steel bento boxes. I felt like I couldn’t measure up to those standards. I want my blog to be a safe place for myself and other moms to connect regardless of our parenting styles.
How many children do you have? I have twins, two girls, about to turn ten. In the twin world, I’d call them *G/G ID twins* That stands for girl/girl, identical twins.
Describe your business mission: Well, my mission is to develop this little blog of mine into a thriving business. Not only do I want to provide a non-judgey place to commiserate, but I’d like to one day employ other stay at home moms, or mompreneurs and help them find success following their dreams. Or at least pay them enough money to get their very own latte without having to worry about taking money out of the family budget.
How do you most relate to The Whatever Mom philosophy? For the record, I didn’t create an entirely new philosophy. When I was a brand-new mom, I spent hours crying because I felt like I was always behind the eight ball. No matter what I did, my twins just cried. My husband worked 17 hours (yes, truly 17) a day while I learned how to manage two infants at once. I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind. Until a friend said to me, you just “do whatever it takes to make it through to the end of the day with the most amount of sanity left.” If plan A doesn’t work, toss it out and go with plan B. There will be some days you make it all the way to plan Z, but if it means less stress and less crying, then that’s the plan you go with. So, being a whatever mom means learning to roll with the punches and making it work for your family. I added the whole non-judgey part because it was really getting on my nerves to hear moms tear each other down for making different choices. I hate to break it to ya, but we’re all wiping butts for at least the first three years of motherhood, no one is better than anyone else.
What do you want other moms to know about you? I want other moms to know that motherhood is a struggle for me. I did not take to motherhood as easily as I thought I would. I love my kids dearly and as strong willed as my kids are, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But, letting go of who I was before kids was hard. I had two successful careers before I became a mom. I succeeded at just about anything I tried, so when I couldn’t make things perfect as a mom, I felt hopeless and defeated. What helped me through it was connecting with other moms, learning how to take self-care seriously and a learning to let go of perfection.
What makes you stand out as a mom? Funny, when I put this in the questionnaire, I thought it was an easy question. Now, I know why everyone said it was hard to answer. We are all moms dedicated to our kids, right? I think what makes me standout as a mom is my ability to learn and grow alongside my kids. Not just in learning new life lessons but learning to tune into myself and each of my kids as individuals. Not only am I teaching them how to not need me one day, but they are changing my perception of the world. And they are teaching me how to play video games because I am really, really, like REALLY BAD at them! 😉
Roxanne Ferber is a twin mom and freelance writer. She enjoys drinking coffee in total silence while she scrolls mindlessly through social media. Shhh… no talkie before the coffee.
