moms night out – The Whatever Mom

Tag: moms night out

01
Jun
2016

My Night Away In Lake George

categories: Healthy Moms, Organizing, Parenting, Uncategorized

Mom Spends One Night Away Everyone Survived

Last week my friend Dianna and I got the chance to take a moms only over night trip to Lake George. It was so much fun! Dianna and I have known each other for 20-years. We’ve gone away together for spring break, made it through the heartache of boys, watched each other get married and now we get to witness each other’s journey through motherhood. We get so busy with life that it was so great to get some time to reconnect!

I want to share with you all the fun things we did, but I also want to share with you that going away by yourself is a wonderful thing. I didn’t want to leave my babies behind, but I wanted to get a break from the constant care and routine. Being a stay at home mom running the household and spending 24/7 with the kids IS my job. When my husband takes a vacation he gets to leave his work tasks behind for a week. I just wanted one day.

A one night stay not too far from home was just what I needed to recharge. I came back feeling like a more patient and replenished mom than when I left. Plus dad’s need time to connect with the kiddos too! I get the kids to myself all the time, he deserves to have them all to himself too. Now, I feel like he understands a little better why I am so stressed most of the time. If you’ve ever wanted to make a quick get away but were afraid to leave the kids with hubby- your kids will be fine! So will hubby!

After I realized how much my kids and my husband get out of this situation too, I felt more at ease taking some time for myself. I enjoyed every minute of shopping in the outlets and taking my time trying things on! No one was tugging at my shirt screaming, “mama! mama! mama!” or jumping out of a cart. I even walked through a candy store at a leisurely pace without having to drag a disappointed, tantruming child away. It was simply relaxing.

Now To The Fun Stuff

After we spent time shopping at the Lake George Outlets, we grabbed a late lunch in nearby Queensbury at the Recovery Room Sports Grill. Thankfully my friend was driving so I could enjoy a mid-afternoon cocktail. The food was really good. I discovered later that kids eat for $2.99 all day every day. We will have to remember this on our next trip back to the area.

After lunch we checked into our hotel room. Well, it was actually a motel room and a very run down one at that. We stayed at the Fort William Henry Hotel and Conference Center. We were situated in the motel area of the property instead of the main building. Our room appeared clean, but really run down. Call me crazy but, I expect when I pay money to stay someplace the towels they provide should not be threadbare. I had to search through the pile to find one that was acceptable. The rest of the property seemed well maintained and I may return for one more try because it is a great location, but only if we can get a room in the main hotel.

Once we were all checked in and got ourselves all dolled up, we took the short walk through town to the Adirondack Winery where they treated us to a premium wine tasting. We enjoyed a “slate plate” showcasing local cheese, jellies, crackers and chocolates. We enjoyed seven samples of wine, plus a dessert wine and a full sized wine slushy. I was left wondering where this cocktail has been all my life. Thankfully they sell the slushy mix in-store, along with full sizes of the other treats we sampled. The staff was so wonderfully friendly and knowledgeable about each wine and the source of each local taste. It was a really great start to our night!

The night was still young so we decided to catch some live music and hit the dance floor. There were several places with live bands and DJs. Since it was an off season weekend, most of the places were filled with locals rather than the litany of tourists. We found some place that was fun and vibrant. Even though I was surrounded by college kids half my age, it was still nice to bust a move. Yes, I still got it!

I think a once a year getaway will be a really great way for us to reconnect as friends. We are moms now but we have a deeper history than just motherhood. It’s nice to laugh at all the crazy things we’ve done and catch up on where we are now.

Here are a few tips on planning your own moms only getaway:

We took advantage of a Groupon deal during an off season weekend. This made it affordable for us to stay.

Decide ahead of time the purpose of your stay. Are you looking for adventure? Are you looking to chill by the bar, take in a show or just spend time in the room? Making sure everyone is on the same page ensures no one leaves disappointed.

Bring hotel snacks! It doesn’t have to be fancy, or it can be really fancy. I traveled with someone once who thought sushi and wine are perfectly acceptable tailgate foods. Decide between friends who is bringing what. It could be really indulgent chocolate, or cupcakes and wine.

Take as many photos as you can. It is a lot of fun to look back on your time together.

Don’t feel guilty leaving your husband solo for a night. He is your co-parent after all. Expect that the house WILL be giant mess when you return, or that he will NOT do things exactly as you will. But everyone is going to survive!

Find out what is in the area to see and do. I found the Adirondack Winery on a Pinterest post which lead me to their website. I set up the tasting from there.

Leave a list for hubby. I left behind a list of names and numbers hubby could call for questions, or back up if necessary. This eased both of our worries. Thankfully, he didn’t need the list and he had a great time with the kids!

If going away over night seems like too much don’t feel bad. Until now I only ever dreamed about taking a night for myself. But scheduling time to connect, even over a cup of coffee, is a great way to strengthen your friendships and nurture who you are as a person, not just who you are as a mom. Whether you work outside of the home, work from home or stay home with the kids you deserve some guilt free time to yourself.

Where would you go if you had just one night away from the house and kids?

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The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia and The Novice Mommy.

24
Feb
2016

Learning To Fall with Grace

categories: Healthy Moms, Parent, Parenting, Uncategorized

This week a group of my mom friends trusted me to take them on an adventure. We traveled an hour to take an Aerial Yoga class with my friend Delia. Delia has instructed newbies on the “silks” for about three years now. She is a natural at it and really great at letting people find their own comfort zone.

When I suggested this adventure I really had no idea what I was getting us into. I had zero reservations about the experience. That is until I arrived at the studio, took off my shoes and got into place in front of my silk. Silks are 10 feet of hanging fabric clamped to a chain and attached by a cable to the rafters or some other structure. I had no clue how demanding it would be to stay steady on them.

I followed Delia’s instructions very closely. I tried to mirror her movements as accurately as I could (and this old body would allow). But, half way through the class I was stuck upside down and swinging inches from the floor. I could not figure my way out and she instructed me to simply drag my hand over the floor to slow myself down, and then how to stop myself and lower myself out of the silk.

In that moment my instinct was to panic. I wanted to fight against the momentum and drop to the floor. Instead, I embraced this new feeling of flying and stretched out my arm to emulate the grace of an ice skater. I joked with my group and made silly faces as I slowly, and as gracefully as possible, came to a stop. I stood up with confidence and said, “I like to fall with grace and style.” My friend Delia commented, “Isn’t that what life is about, learning to fall with grace?”

That statement stuck with me. How many times do we find ourselves in new and sudden situations outside of our comfort zone? Parenting for sure will push you into realms of discomfort you didn’t know existed before. Do we brace ourselves against the momentum of life or do we embrace the chaos? Do we slow ourselves down long enough to gain confidence to get back up?

I feel like every new stage has brought about new challenges with my kids. From their behaviors to their food preferences to a first time with a new sickness. Most often I want to bristle and try to control things into perfection and make them more efficient and convenient for me as a parent. That seems to only make things worse. But, when I truly lean into the moment and just go with the flow and leave behind the instinct to panic things seem to get easier for me.

I stumble most days on this parenting journey. I rethink my choices daily. I wake up with zero reservations about my life with kids. That is until I am standing in front of the empty coffee pot with one or both of them screaming at me. When I find myself pushing back and yelling I remember to take a breath, find that amazing mom I want to be and let go of making the outcome perfect. If I fall, I get up and declare my grace through humor. I dust myself off and try again.

I wish I could say the rest of the class was easier after that, but it wasn’t. I got stuck two more times, thankfully not upside down. Delia came to my rescue with a boost both times. That’s what friend’s do.

Who knew taking a yoga class would help me discover that I am stronger than I realize? That when I am faced with a challenge I have a deep inner strength and determination that doesn’t allow me to give up. Who knew I would get a life lesson from a yoga class?

17
Mar
2014

Reclaiming my passion for painting.

categories: Uncategorized

I walk into a Vine Van Gogh paint night so excited to spend time with other moms (and a glass of wine). It really does not matter what we are painting, I am just happy to be out of the house and among other adults. In the last three years I’ve made due with stolen moments alone at the grocery store, or late night drives to run errands. FYI, none of those are fulfilling or deeply gratifying.

Connecting with friends.

The instructor shows us how to set up our canvas and lets us loose with paint. My mind is flooded with distant memories of moving a brush around on canvas in another life. It feels like a refresher course of all the art classes I have taken. Then without expecting it, it becomes a refresher course in how much I love painting. I spend so much time painting with my toddlers I have forgotten how much I love painting for myself. There was a time in my life (before kids, marriage, house) I couldn’t go a day without painting, or drawing something. Don’t get too excited I’m not an artist by any stretch. But, I am creative. I can see new ways to reuse something, or finish a project in simple easy steps and occasionally I can get downright crafty.

Remembering how this painting thing works.

I love my kids and I love that I get to stay home with them. I simply forgot the value of having my own space and time, or a project just for me. Something I clearly took for granted before kids. I feel guilty spending money on myself, or leaving when I know my kids will melt down. But, it’s OK to let dad feed the kids whatever for dinner, and so what if they skip a bath because it’s what dad needs to do to get through his night with the kids? The important thing I try to remember is it is one night. They will survive and so will I! I realize I am not spending hundreds on myself. The occasional expense of nurturing my own happy pursuits goes a lot further than just me. When I am personally fulfilled I am better at nurturing my family.

I love my time out painting and chatting (and I love escaping the monotony of laundry and the constant barrage of shrill screeches of“Mama! Mama! Mama!” that jumbles all of my thoughts). The class is nearly 3 hours long- which is long enough for me to reconnect with a long forgotten passion. Now, I can’t wait for the next class!!