I remember the day I was standing in the hot shower, shampoo lather in my hair, and one thought stopped me in my tracks, “In just a few weeks the girls will be three! The terrible twos will be over!!” I was almost too over joyed upon thinking of this. Later, when I shared it on Facebook, someone had the audacity to tell me about the “Trying Threes.” It totally crushed my hopes and dreams of compliant, happy little kids. Thankfully, I survived living with two ‘threenagers’ and can tell the tale.

Here we are at age six and if I had to give it a name I’d call it ‘Sassy Six.’ Oh my word the sass. The strong opinions and the absolute knowing mom is just plain wrong. Ya know, the mom who went to college and had a career for over a decade before they were born? She is just dumb and wrong about EVERYTHING. Six is really feeling a whole lot like SIXTEEN! I am sure this too shall pass, but I can’t say with certainty which one of us will make it out alive. (Kidding of course).

In order to deal with it all I use a planned ignoring technique. It goes like this: when my child is listing all the reasons why she can’t do something, like I just don’t know the struggle, I do the dishes and pretend she isn’t having a fit right now. Then, I repeat my instructions to do what I’ve asked as calmly as I can. As if she never lost her mind in the first place. After using this technique for the 14th time in a day on more than one child, a mom could go a little insane. And that’s when I write things like this in my head:

If You Give Your Mom An Attitude

by Roxanne Ferber

If you give your mom an attitude, chances are she will send you to your room. Then she’ll want you to clean it. She’ll tell you to pick up all the toys and put away that pile of clothes. Then she’ll say, “make your bed if you want to go out to play.”

If you give your mom an attitude, chances are you’ll have to go to bed without any dessert. She’ll tell you, “you can’t have any” because her feelings are hurt.

If you give your mom an attitude, chances are you’ll start to feel bad. You’ll wish you never said that and wish you hadn’t made her mad.

If you give your mom an attitude, chances are she’ll love you just the same. She’ll hug you and squeeze you and call you by name. And, chances are you’ll tell her your sister is to blame.

You may notice this is a loose parody of a familiar childhood series (and one of my personal favorites). Obviously, keeping a sense of humor helps when dealing with kid drama. If you missed it, that’s my one tried and true way of coping with the stress of motherhood- humor. I’ve read the If You Give … series a million times to my kids, so naturally it’s easy to recall while I am rage cleaning. Rewording these stories in my head to mimic my reality makes it easier to deal with the brash accusations that I am THE WORST MOM EVER!

How do you survive the kid tantrums at your house?

The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia 

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33 Comments on If You Give Your Mom An Attitude

  1. I ignored the tantrums, but we are on to the next phase in our house – tweens. It’s bad with the sass around here. BAD.

  2. Oh yes the tween and teen years, so much spunk and sassiness. I survived it with one kid and now working on my second whom is far less sassy than his older sister!

  3. 6 is the worst! My son was a nightmare at 6 and my daughter is currently an incredibly sassy 6! She definitely knows it all and nothing I say is right. I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with it well, I get into arguments with her all to often. I’ll give your way a try!

  4. This is so funny and clever. I hear people say that 3 was worst than 2 but I didn’t feel that way. I think the older they get and the more they can comprehend and understand consequences the easier it gets.

    • My kids realize that I am ignoring them and will accost me for ignoring…which only makes me ignore them even more. lol Then it’s just kind of funny to hear them mumbling under their breath in the other room, “is she seriously ignoring me right now?!” Tee hee.

    • I’m going to pretend I didn’t just read that. 😉 I have a fantasy that we’ll be besties shopping for shoes and grabbing lunch together soon!

  5. This is so cute! My son just turned two, and the tantrums are definitely loads of fun (sarcasm), haha. Guess there really is no end in sight for those terrible “twos” huh?! LOL

    • I will say some people miss out on the trying threes all together. I think it depends on the child’s personality. Both my children are very strong willed. So we haven’t had an end to the tantrums yet. lol

  6. Haha I feel like when I was a kid I was just quiet and alternated between drawing, picking up sticks in the garden, riding an imaginary pony or cried when people tried talking to me there was no sass in eastern europe in the 90s! Bless xx

  7. It seems each year comes with new challenges. lol. Kids who where chill at 2 are a nightmare at 3. But no matter when the attitude shows up, eventually they will grow out of it.

  8. Ah the joys of being a parent, hey? Haha! I can’t relate however, I’m not one (yet…) but I love hearing these stories. I wonder if my nephews are like this!

  9. I think kids will always try and push their boundaries. I’ve seen tantrums in kids young and old, and heck even in some adults! lol!

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