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This week has been incredibly eye opening. On Monday I had a lovely visit with a more seasoned mom who has raised three children, all three on their way out of the nest. I was a little on edge with two whirling littles, mostly because we are so noisy. I was worried they’d make a mess, break something or just completely melt down. Thankfully, they were complete angels! It was such a wonderful experience spending time with a mom whom I did not have to itemize my organic food choices with, or plead my case for having to formula feed babies instead of breast feeding. It was just nice to be accepted as a member of this mom community where we all work our hardest to provide the best for our kids.

Then Tuesday came and the shaming began. Articles started popping up in my Facebook news feed about the stigma of having a c-section. I was curious to know if anyone actually felt shamed for having a c-section. I had a c-section and people often ask if I did. Maybe that’s par for the twin parenting course? Maybe I am too busy to hear these kinds of reactions, or maybe I’ve just been really lucky I haven’t crossed paths with such ugliness. But, no one has ever commented on how I “took the easy way out,” or worse, “didn’t actually give birth.”

dear moms

Dear Moms of the World,

What are we doing????! Are we really that insecure about our positions as mothers that we need someone else to feel superior to? Aren’t we better than that? Aren’t we in charge of role modeling loving, caring, productive behaviors so we can raise loving, caring and productive human beings? Why are we “mean girling” potential friends and judging moms whose stories we most likely don’t even know?! Why are we freely dumping our personal opinions onto the world wide web and not sorry when it hurts? Can we all agree that every decision we make for our kids is hard? Can we all just have a giant group hug and drink a hot cup of coffee til this whole me vs. you thing blows over? I know I’d really like that.

Sincerely,

The Whatever Mom

 

 

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14 Comments on Dear Moms of The World

  1. I totally agree! I love this post. I had a lot of negative feelings toward my c-section because I had to be put completely to sleep so both my husband and I didn’t get to witness the birth. Mom shaming totally stinks! I’ve written a post on it myself. I’m totally down for a group hug!

  2. I love this! So true. We ARE all moms. All doing our best and what we think is right. It works for us and our family! Being a parent is hard enough, we shouldn’t have to worry about being judged on top of it!!!!

  3. I agree. We are all Moms. I try to stay away for moms judging and all the drama that comes with it. Don’t judge someone until you walked in their shoes.

  4. really great questions there. i dont even know if i wrote this on your blog or another mom’s, but i find it soooo hard to connect with other moms because it is ALWAYS about one-upping. i feel like that anyways and i am not talking about all moms, of course.

  5. I’m all for group hugs! I think having a c-section or not would be part of a childbirth conversation. I love talking birth stories. Women need to get a grip!

  6. So true!! It’s so easy to get wrapped up in mom drama! I am lucky to be surrounded by an amazing group of moms. My MOPS (Moms of preschoolers) group is amazing. I’m at the point where if someone is going to judge me or make me feel shamed, I don’t have time for them in my life.

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